So you are here. Good. That title was just to lure you. What did you think? :) I swear on Dominoes Cheeseburst, you wouldn't have come here if you had known I was taking up some tag. Yeah? Obviously. I would have spent that pathetic as-fast-as-a-snail broadband time on something more useful. Like? Arre, your broadband connection, you decide. Why ask me? Anyway, this is a very touching moment for this blog. We(me and my blog) have been tagged by Gils.
Folks, this has been called an award for some really god-forbidden reason by the community. And why it should be given to me is a rhetoric not even my great grandchildren will be able to answer, for the simple reason that what I write doesn't interest even me(Sometimes, I sleep halfway through the post), then to talk about it giving any joy to you.
Anyway, time to walk the red carpet now. (Oscar music at the offset)
10 honest things about myself in no particular order :
1. I love taking digs at Ekta Kapoor's serials. Trust me, I can go on and on. You know those kinds? Sanskaari ameer khaandaan ka beta(good guy from rich family) falls for middle class chhokri, run away, get married. Son dies. Only to come back into serial after 5 years with amnesia. EXACTLY on the day when his wife(?) is ABOUT TO get married to someone else. Family reunites with the main protagonist being replaced atleast 17 times during the entire period the series ran. At one point of time, you lose track of who is who's what. Lovely.
2. I have a highly irritating habit of correcting spelling mistakes during chats. No, I will not ignore it as a typo. I am born with this disease. Don't feel bad. I will compensate with bad grammar from my end.
3. I am averse to any form of make-up. I sometimes 'Tch-tch' at myself looking at all those gifted ladies who have the poise and patience to colour their nails, paint their face white with compact/foundation/whatever else it is called, bleach and the likes, dab their eyelids with mascara and what not. Don't even get me started about lipstick. I tried the eye-liner once, back in college(if I should trust my power of recapitulation) and ended up looking like the ghost from Ring 2. Look right.
4. In the past, I have wept tears of joyous sorrow(?!!) while watching Karan Johar movies. I know this is a mighty revelation for today and could result in an absolute decline in readership, butttt.. err, sorry, but no compromise with honesty(Yeah, right!)
5. I am usually playing AAAAA(Always-Available-Awesome-Agony-Aunt) when I am not busy hogging on stupendofantabulouslysensational Subway corn-and-peas salads. I am going to charge for such services soon. Readers of this blog get a straight Rs. 5/- discount. Hurry up before offer closes. Of course, the last thing you are allowed to assume from this would be that I am good at resolving my issues too. Frankly, quite far away from it. :|
6. I am constantly on the look out for chances to go to Chennai/Mumbai. No specific reason :)
7. Till very recently, I did not know how to respond to compliments. If told that I was good at something, I would almost always snap back immediately explaining how 'N' number of people were better at it or how I wasn't good enough to be receiving that compliement. Maybe that was my take on modesty. It did good to me as good as a naught. So I now just smile back with a small "Thank you!" :)
8. Considering my past record, I am very quick in making friends(and losing them too). Of the 3121247 friends that you'll find on my Facebook page, only 3 would hold a special indispensable place in my life. So don't get carried away.
9. One of these days/months/years, one typical Hindi filmy scene at my house will be this :
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Heroine(me :P) enters house with a guy(hero).
Heroine(signalling to Hero) : Pitaji ke paon chhuo. (Touch father's feet)
Hero bends down to touch Pitaji's feet. Pitaji moves two steps back.
Pitaji(taking out his gun) : Mere jeeteji aisa kabhi nahi ho sakta. (This will not happen till I am alive).
Heroine : Pitaji, hum ek dusre ko jee-jaan se chahte hain (We love each other with our heart-life)
Pitaji(to Hero) : Haraaamzaaadeyyyyyyy!! Main tera khoon pee jaaoonga!! Teri itni himmat!! Teri aukaad hi kya hai? Ye le pachaas hazaar rupaye aur bhool jaa meri beti ko!! (I'll drink your blood. What audacity!! What's your social standing after all? Take these 50,000 bucks and forget my daughter.)
Meanwhile, heroine's mom who has been watching all this back-stage enters.
Maa(to Hero) : Aao bete, mere paas aake baitho. Khana pakana aata hai?(Come son, sit beside me. Can you cook?)
Hero touches to-be-mom-in-law's feet and coyly sits beside her.
Maa(to Pitaji) *added by a hopeful author* : Suno ji, mujhe toh ladka pasand hai. Mera daamaad yehi banega, keh deti hun. Kitna sundar aur sushil hai(I like the lad. Only he will be my son-in-law. How beautiful(?) and blah blah he is.)
Shaadi music playing. Curtain dropping. Hands clapping.
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10. I can't do tags for the love of God.
Phew!! :| Tag somebody? Reading this would have been torture enough for you, why inflict more? Anyway, let the blog set you free. Here's your ticket to the concentration camp : *evil grin*
1. Srivats
2. Avanti
3. Sid
4. Abu
5. Anyone else who wants to suffer.
