Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sanjay Leela Bhansali ka problem kya hai?


Guzaarish. To put it simply and right at the outset, I don't get one single clear-cut point that the movie tries to send across.


Hrithik plays a bearded Ethan Mascarenhas, a once-upon-a-time-famous-magician-now-turned-quadriplegic owing to a fatal accident that took place 12 years ago.. Bhansali bhai certainly didn't finish the script over a cup of coffee, 'coz he forgets it is 12 years that poor Ethan has been paralysed for, and plays Tambola with the guy's life, and Ghajini with himself. He makes it 14 years. Anyhow, I digress. Chuck, 12 or 14, this man for some reason, has taken to hosting inspirational radio shows from the comforts of his dilapidated room in an antique palatial-looking bungalow, the roofs of which keep dripping water onto the nose of Ethan Mascarenhas every time it rains. Add to scene, Sophia D'souza, played by Aishwarya Rai, who has unconditionally served Ethan for the past solve-above-conflict-12-or-14 number of years. At most points in the movie, one keeps wondering if she was burnt from riches to rags buying her Marilyn Monroe red lipsticks and investing in that unnecessary plunging neckline for a paralysed man. That's where Bollywood makes me cringe. This compulsive need to show skin, no matter what the script. I digress again. Yea so, famed magician, nurse to match, and add to potpourri, a student whose only USP and contribution-in-the-movie is the cute blob of hair on his head. How a magician plays Ms. Goody Two Shoes to write every single trick-of-the-trade and capture the finesse of magic in a notebook, so some joker will someday come and carry forth his lineage fails the audience at some logical realm.

Guzaarish is about Ethan's petition for euthanasia. He calls it Ethanasia. Oh, ok. And oh man, what a petition. Guy shouts into the radio daily 'jitni bhi hai, jaisi bhi hai, zindagi khoobsurat hai', writes a book on Quadriplegics and then decides, chalo bohot khush reh liya, ab marna chahiye. Why he keeps pleading to a court that keeps rejecting his appeals for death and his claims for his "right to die" and finally agrees for murder is beyond God. If I were him, I would have died just looking at the constipated look Aishwarya Rai sports in 'Udi Udi' and her flowy skirts that make you wonder if it was a Jane Austen movie. Time and again, he gives the audience bechaara doggy looks, while his lawyer-cum-best friend fights with Byomkesh Bakshi, desperately trying to cry, but somehow can't manage to. Glycerine ki izzat ka falooda. One of the fairly decent actors in the movie, this lawyer lady Devyani, is failed by a script that does no justice to her role. Giving her competition for the money he's been paid, Suhel Seth compensates for the heavily missing comic relief in the movie. He seems to be capturing screen space mainly due to size, than anything else. When all else fails, Ethan guy decides to marry his nurse as a sign of returning the favor for murdering him. Death party happens. People sing song with catchy tune. Ya-ya-ma-ya-ya Ya-ya-ma-ya-ya..... Curtains down. Kal ho na ho type death. You don't see it. You imagine it. 

Bhansali has borrowed some darkness from the sets of Saawariya(and some bad acting too), though he mostly manages brownie points for cinematography.


1. Totally unwanted wicked-looking magician. Waste of even-otherwise-pretty-useless bandwidth. 
2. Those unrecognizable weird people present at death party, supposedly closest friends, who hardly get a mention in the movie. They just come, sing, hug Ethan and leave. Awwww, how touching! 
3. The fact that the movie couldn't make me shed a single tear. For records, I have wept in almost all movies I have seen in a theatre. Sniff, it's ok. 


  1. LOL! sl(a)p for slb from dame Anu. (not that it is not being badgered by others including the Dabbanger :))

    One point goes to slb, for making you see the movie somehow, adding maybe 200xYourRetinueCount bucks to the movie revenue. :-D Do you really expect any clear cut points in any movie, these days? wrong expectationji, aap expectation kum kariyae! :-P

    your point #3 made me ROTFL and so did the KHNH poster. So, you are a walking tear tanker. :-) :-)

  2. Unka yeh problem hai... ki woh genius hai ;) ;)

    ... How else could he think of covering Hrithik's handsome looks behind layers of jungle... and also think of this massive turkey... in the guise of a 'love ishtory'... ??

  3. Who is the Dabannger? :)

    Expectation reduction, true that !
    At some point, I was really waiting for this guy to do, pah, so much of hooplah. For the vegetable-like frame he had turned into anyway, wouldn't take much to die by his own troth;

    Ha, me a tear-tanker, but only when it comes to movies seen at a multiplex :D

  4. Greek God, so they say! :)

    Certainly not the paisa vasool types.

  5. haha.. great review.. first person who gave frank review of the movie.. many people have been praising it left and right.. The plunging neckline was totally unwanted but I guess many guys went to watch the movie, because of that.. and I have heard many people saying Aishwarya did a better acting. Not gonna watch this movie for sure, after getting tortured watching Saawariya :)

  6. @Avada Kedavra,

    Thanks a bunch!! :)
    SLB seems to have gotten into making the type of movies, after which you feel like saying, "Yaar, is movie mein kabhi subah kyun nahi hoti?" :D

  7. raammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....enna thaan kuruvi konjam weight potutangannalum..avangala tankernulaam ipdi publica damage panirukapdaaathu :)

  8. @Gilsu,

    Over'a dont pesing. Odha vaangittu poing.


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