There has to be some supernatural force acting behind the spam ads I get on my mobile. I am positively certain of it.
Else, why on earth have I been getting ads like the one below for three days now.
"Mega Offer on weight reducing sauna slim belt 999/- only. Direct from company. Reduce upto 10 kgs weight in 45 days. Cal 9360******".
Alright, I get your message.
In other news, the past week(actually, the week I started writing this post) saw yours truly busily visiting places where a motley crowd of chitthis, perimas, maamis, paattis* and other board members of Mahila Samiti Inc. had assembled in order to look at colorful toys placed on an 'odd' number of shelves, and generally discuss vaira mookuthi and moonu poun necklace**.
Yours truly obviously looked like a complete idiot asking what poun meant, and whether it was poun or pavun or pound, as these were the different phonetic sounds that were produced on usage of the word and understandably, invited wrath and scorn upon herself, what with maamis exclaiming "Kalyana vayasu aachu… poun/pavun/pound na teriyaadha di?"***. Sigh. This insultisation was an expected outcome of yours truly's naivete on such important issues. What happened next was not. "Kozhandhai… oru paattu paaden"****. Cringe. Looked around for help but got only sympathy and eagerly-waiting-to-pounce eyes. Did a quick brute-force-cum-permutation-combination-jumble. What were my options, if any at all? Sore throat? My dog died? Pass the baton to someone else? Much to my disgrace, I realised MS Inc. had been solemnly staring and pining to listen to my crow-like voice all this while. Too late to try any of the above options, I offered a little prayer to the Gods to somehow miraculously make me some classic Indian Idol type singer, just for those 8-10 odd uncomfortable moments. Please, please, God. Blurred images of my mother disowning me after this stint paraded the projector screen of my mind. Decision time. I switched on the electronic tanpura…. Gonnnggggggggg. Started singing standard krithi in Kamala Manohari with standard thappu thaalam*****. Sounds of 'tch tch' reverberated across the room. I would like to believe it was MS Inc.'s involvement into my melodious crooning. Please don't wake me up from my reverie.
Ok, that apart, Chennai has this strange form of untouchability rampant in buses. This morning, I surprisingly got into this bus that wasn't crowded, going by my track record of standing in the bus throughout my way to office. Anyway, that's that. So what happened is that this bus was pretty free, so to speak. Ladies 'partition' of the bus was house full, though there were a couple of vacant seats on the gents side of the bus. But guess what? 3-4 ladies chose to stand instead of going and occupying the empty seats on the gents side, more so if a man was already sitting in one of the two seats. Ok, suit yourself, I thought. I coolly went and hopped into one of those seats. Holy Mayawati! If only looks could kill, I would have been turned into ashes. The entire assemblage of ladies on the now-other side of the bus had started giving me looks like I was travelling the whole of Tamilnadu in a bus wearing a bikini. Ok, yeah, go get up, pick drums and go about the city announcing my persecution.
* small aunty, big aunty, aunty of aunty, grandmas
** diamond nose ring and 3 poun/pavun/pound(still just as confused) necklace
*** You have attained a marriageable age... Do you not understand even this much?
**** Child, sing a song for us
***** A mismatch between the tune and the beat